He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
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