I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
