It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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