i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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