Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize