I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
