we have officially lost it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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