But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
