is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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