the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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