Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
