It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
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Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
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We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
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