She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
