I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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