In the future we'll all be gay
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
