I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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