ugly people sure do ruin things
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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