I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My dick has a subreddit
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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