I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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