The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
