9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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