Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
is it fun? or sober?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
