My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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