She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize