Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
