The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize