Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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