So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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