sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
