i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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