closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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