I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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