careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
