Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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