i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm getting married
To pizza
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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