I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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