omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize