I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
