Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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