If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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