Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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