great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
