More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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