I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
