I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
As shirtless as possible
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
