$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
