I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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