Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
