he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
