every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
