Nicole vs. Life
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
