3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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