she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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