You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
