I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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