oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
