Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
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Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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