Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
