Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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