i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Randomize
