Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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