Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
